Tag: god

The Righteousness of Noah

A year on the Ark

Would drive any man to drink

Drunk, naked Noah

Noah, a man of the soil, was the first to plant a vineyard. He drank some of the wine and became drunk, and he lay uncovered in his tent.

Genesis 9:20-21 NRSV

Just thinking about trying to feed or clean up the crap from hundreds of thousands of animals every day makes me want to grab a bottle of wine or a keg of beer. And there were only 8 people on board to take care of them. I’ve often wondered how they stored the food, especially fresh meat for the carnivores. Oh well! I’m sure God thought of everything.

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Which Church Would Jesus Choose?

The plethora of

Christian denominations

Dogmatic fake news

Clearly the person who accepts the Church as an infallible guide will believe whatever the Church teaches.

Thomas Aquinas

Let’s pretend that you have a choice in choosing your own Christian denomination (45,000+ in the world). You visit several different churches throughout the year and make an informed decision as to which one just might lead you down that narrow path to eternal life. You agree with all of their doctrines (99 essential) and they’re using the correct version (there are many) of the Bible. You enjoy the people and the clergy. They teach and follow the Ten Commandments if that’s your thing. And they basically tick off all of your checkboxes of what you want from a church. You have chosen from thousands of Christian denominations, a church that you believe will make you Christian enough to meet Jesus’ commands (about 49 commands). Choose carefully because Jesus says that only a “few” will enter this narrow gate. What is the truth? What is fake news? Your choice!

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Clerical Celibacy Up In White Smoke

Priests cannot marry

Catholics rock with Peter

Peter was married

When Jesus entered Peter’s house, he saw his mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever.

Matthew 8:14 NRSV

The Pope of the Catholic Church is based on Peter being appointed the first pope by Jesus, “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock, I will build my church,” Matthew 16:18. There is, of course, much debate about the context of this passage. I am not a Greek, Aramaic, or even an English linguistic scholar so I am not about to enter into the debate. Greek was the lingua franca of the Mediterranean world back then. However, Jesus spoke Aramaic. Petros and petra were supposedly synonyms and meant either a “small stone” or a “large rock.” The Koine Greek, which is what Matthew was written in, translates to just “rock.” Anyway, do see what I’m getting at? How can the average person, like me, know this stuff? I’m just a layperson trying to tell you how complicated this religion is. That’s all!

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Shaking Hands With a Clenched Fist

Do not fear the gods

Fear man’s religious beliefs

Dogma creates wars

No wars are more bitter than those undertaken in the name of religion.

Elisabeth Marbury

Mahatma Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.” The more I study Abrahamic religions, the more I can understand why there have been so many wars over the dogma of religious beliefs. Unfortunately, the unbeliever of religions cannot escape the wrath of the believer.

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Wierd Bible Verse #3

We’re set free from sin

And have become slaves of God

Our eternal life

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.

Romans 6:22 NIV

My pastor used to say, “We are set free from sin!” But, he always left out the part about becoming a slave to God. And remember, eternal is a long, long time. It’s forever! Just a thought over coffee this morning. What I’m really thinking is that “I’m set free from guilt” and all the baggage that comes with the dogma of the Christian religion. I am finally happy.

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Not In the Ten Commandments

Judged unfit by God

No promised land for Moses

Thou shalt not forgive

“I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.”

Ronald Reagan

Can you imagine traveling through the desert for 40 years, lugging around those stone tablets, and tending to hundreds of thousands of people whining about not having enough water to drink, and then having God tell you, “I’m sorry, I know I promised you the land of milk and honey, but you gotta go, Moses!” Poor Moses should have never broken those stone tablets in the first place. Anger management comes to mind. By the way, when Moses wrote down the second set of Ten Commandments (after he broke the first set), my favorite Commandment is #10: “You shall not boil a kid in its mother’s milk.” Read the Real Ten Commandments here.

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Gambling On the Praying Team

Gametime on Sunday

Wonder what team God favors

Players praying works

I found that prayers work best when you have big players.

Knute Rockne

It’s Sunday and I’m wondering if Jesus really has a favorite football team. But, doesn’t he already know the outcome? That wouldn’t be much fun watching a game and already knowing the final score. I ask because sometimes I’ll see players kneeling in groups before kickoff. I’m sure they pray for a lot of different things, like not getting hurt or making it with a certain cheerleader. But, if it’s a chance to go to the Superbowl, I’m gambling that they’re praying for the big WIN!

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Hot Dogs With Jesus

You say God wants a

Personal relationship…

Bar-b-que’s at four!

The people who give you their food give you their heart. 

Cesar Chavez

The phrase having a “personal relationship” with Jesus is not an explicit verse in the Bible. Many can point out verses that may lead you to believe that we should have a personal relationship with Jesus, but what exactly does that mean? Jesus has never said anything to me nor has he shown his face. So, I thought I’d invite him over to my hot dog bar-b-que to see if he’ll show up. By the way, I prefer brats over hot dogs. But who knows! He may miraculously turn my dogs into brats! That would certainly make me a believer.

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A Pint of Guinness For Me Please

Original sin

Means that hell is our default!

Does Gandhi drink beer?

“God has no religion.”

Mahatma Gandhi

From what I know about Mathama Gandhi, he was totally against any type of alcoholic beverage. And I don’t mean any disrespect to Gandhi at all. He was a great man! This has been a joke between me and my wife for years – not about Gandhi, but the Christian religion. Gandhi wasn’t a Christian and according to Christian doctrine, he’s going to hell along with two-thirds of the world’s population (and all of mankind before Jesus came to earth), just as soon as Jesus comes back to judge us all. It’s gonna be crowded down there! Anyway, I’m pretty certain that I’m going to hell just for writing this haiku. To continue the joke, I tell my wife, “I wonder if Gandhi drinks dark beer so that I could have a beer with him and maybe have a philosophical discussion about nonviolence, or something.”

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Finding God’s Pearly Gates

Only a few will

Find the narrow path to life

Blisters on my feet

Go in through the narrow gate. The gate that leads to destruction is broad and the road wide, so many people enter through it. But the gate that leads to life is narrow and the road difficult, so few people find it.

Matthew 7:13-14 CEB

The “narrow gate” that Jesus speaks of in Matthew 7:13-14 has always been a mystery to me. He says that only a “few” will find it. There are all sorts of commentary from people who will basically say that he didn’t really mean what he said. But, what if Jesus really meant what he said? After all, the Bible says that we may be chosen, that we must believe, we’ve got to follow a slew of commands, etc. Then when we think that we’ve done enough, believed enough, prayed, and worshipped enough, he’s going to come back and judge us! I’m beginning to believe that Jesus meant what he said: that only a few make it to the narrow gate that leads us through the myriad of paths to eternal life.

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