Tag: heaven

Gambling On the Praying Team

Gametime on Sunday

Wonder what team God favors

Players praying works

I found that prayers work best when you have big players.

Knute Rockne

It’s Sunday and I’m wondering if Jesus really has a favorite football team. But, doesn’t he already know the outcome? That wouldn’t be much fun watching a game and already knowing the final score. I ask because sometimes I’ll see players kneeling in groups before kickoff. I’m sure they pray for a lot of different things, like not getting hurt or making it with a certain cheerleader. But, if it’s a chance to go to the Superbowl, I’m gambling that they’re praying for the big WIN!

Image by Keith Johnston from Pixabay

Hot Dogs With Jesus

You say God wants a

Personal relationship…

Bar-b-que’s at four!

The people who give you their food give you their heart. 

Cesar Chavez

The phrase having a “personal relationship” with Jesus is not an explicit verse in the Bible. Many can point out verses that may lead you to believe that we should have a personal relationship with Jesus, but what exactly does that mean? Jesus has never said anything to me nor has he shown his face. So, I thought I’d invite him over to my hot dog bar-b-que to see if he’ll show up. By the way, I prefer brats over hot dogs. But who knows! He may miraculously turn my dogs into brats! That would certainly make me a believer.

Image by Jim Walker from Pixabay

A Pint of Guinness For Me Please

Original sin

Means that hell is our default!

Does Gandhi drink beer?

“God has no religion.”

Mahatma Gandhi

From what I know about Mathama Gandhi, he was totally against any type of alcoholic beverage. And I don’t mean any disrespect to Gandhi at all. He was a great man! This has been a joke between me and my wife for years – not about Gandhi, but the Christian religion. Gandhi wasn’t a Christian and according to Christian doctrine, he’s going to hell along with two-thirds of the world’s population (and all of mankind before Jesus came to earth), just as soon as Jesus comes back to judge us all. It’s gonna be crowded down there! Anyway, I’m pretty certain that I’m going to hell just for writing this haiku. To continue the joke, I tell my wife, “I wonder if Gandhi drinks dark beer so that I could have a beer with him and maybe have a philosophical discussion about nonviolence, or something.”

Image by Roy Brockman from Pixabay

Finding God’s Pearly Gates

Only a few will

Find the narrow path to life

Blisters on my feet

Go in through the narrow gate. The gate that leads to destruction is broad and the road wide, so many people enter through it. But the gate that leads to life is narrow and the road difficult, so few people find it.

Matthew 7:13-14 CEB

The “narrow gate” that Jesus speaks of in Matthew 7:13-14 has always been a mystery to me. He says that only a “few” will find it. There are all sorts of commentary from people who will basically say that he didn’t really mean what he said. But, what if Jesus really meant what he said? After all, the Bible says that we may be chosen, that we must believe, we’ve got to follow a slew of commands, etc. Then when we think that we’ve done enough, believed enough, prayed, and worshipped enough, he’s going to come back and judge us! I’m beginning to believe that Jesus meant what he said: that only a few make it to the narrow gate that leads us through the myriad of paths to eternal life.

Image by Tibor Lezsófi from Pixabay

Give Me That Old Time Religion

Stone tablets by God

Bible by inspired saints

Religion by man

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.

George Bernard Shaw

Christianity is not a united religion. There are thousands of different Protestant denominations, all believing that their way is the correct path to God. The doctrines of Christianity are debated on a daily basis. If you were not already indoctrinated into a particular sect of Christianity, which branch would you choose to lead you to salvation? You’d better make sure that they are correct because Jesus said that only a “few” (Matthew 7:13-14) will enter the narrow gate to heaven.

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

Is God a Puppet Master?

Evil exists now

Because God gave us free will

Puppets in heaven

There’s too much tendency to attribute to God the evils that man does of his own free will.

Agatha Christie

If evil exists because of free will, will we have free will in heaven? And if we do have free will in heaven, will there again be evil? Will we worship, sing, and praise God all day long, for eternity, because we want to, or will we be puppets on a string?

Image by Wolfgang Eckert from Pixabay

Pastor Picked a Peck of Pesky Passages

Pick and choose verses

Pastors preaching buffet style

Pulpit imposters

You can’t pick and choose in these things, specializing in keeping one or two things in God’s law and ignoring others. The same God who said, “Don’t commit adultery,” also said, “Don’t murder.” If you don’t commit adultery but go ahead and murder, do you think your non-adultery will cancel out your murder? No, you’re a murderer, period.

James 2:10-11 MSG

Image by Eugenio Albrecht from Pixabay

Bumper Sticker Theology

Bumper sticker said

In case of rapture, I’m gone!

Please contact my wife

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

1 Thessalonians 4:16-17

The word “rapture” isn’t used in the Bible.

I’m ready to start the new year with a funny haiku. The rapture was never really taught in the church that I went to. I believe it’s mostly evangelical theology. There are a lot of books written and movies created on the subject of the rapture. Not interested.

Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay

Fear and Shame In the Closet

Hurt, judgment, and pain,

That’s what the church means to me…

Rainbows in closets

Overwhelming scientific and medical knowledge exist today pointing to an inescapable conslusion. Sexual orientation is not a moral choice. It is something to which people awaken.

Bishop John Shelby Spong, The Sins of Scripture page 125

One thing the Christian religion has done successfully is categorizing, shaming, and excluding the LGBTQ community. Some denominations have come to their senses and have realized their misinterpretation of the Bible and have welcomed them with open arms. Some will say something stupid like, “Well, we hate the sin but love the sinner.” And then there are the fundamentalists who take the Bible literally and just hate the sin and the sinner. It’s a confusing religion and a complicated Bible.

Image by Matteo Frigerio from Pixabay